This is a column to check in on the rest of the football world, but since it’s 2025 in America I will beat you over the head with The Agenda, which in case you’ve forgotten is “Big Ten Superiority Unless It’s Funny.”
THE AGENDA MVP: Illinois Fighting Illini and Indiana Hoosiers
Both Illinois and Indiana took care of business by allowing 0 points ahead of their Week 4 showdown, which promises to be a clash of titans so ferocious that ESPN decided to go to Florida instead lest they be crushed by debris created by the collateral damage incurred by this heavyweight bout.
MAC SNACKS PART 3
The MAC closes out a season of non-conference play having failed to defeat the Big Ten. Ohio fell 37-9 to #1 Ohio State, Central Michigan allowed 63 points to Regular Michigan and UMass failed to cover a 34-point spread against Iowa of all teams. How could you allow 47 to Kirk Ferentz? Mark Gronowski had 179 assing yards, which is like a quarterback of a normal team getting 500+!
Penn State, Maryland, Nebaska, Rutgers and Michigan State dispatched FCS foes without incident.
IRON SHARPENS IRON
While USC and Oregon had been extremely dominant on offense through two games, it was time for them to play real competition and step into the crucible of Big Ten Conference Play. Even against the projected basement of the Big Ten, the Trojans and Ducks were held to 33 and 34 points against Purdue and Northwestern. That’s a testament to the level of competition here in the Big Ten. It’s like the NFL: even the worst teams are full of some of the best players on earth, so not even a national title contender can be comfortable.
SEC LEADERS NEED HELP
The SEC has their own group of pretenders to the throne with three top-10 teams heading into week 3.
LSU only managed 20 points at home against Florida, just two points more than USF scored on them. DJ Lagway threw 5 picks to the Tigers and they only managed a 10-point victory. Apparently in the SEC you can just toss five picks and stay right in the game. Who knew?
Georgia got a win over Tennessee in overtime thanks to the heroics of former Fighting Illini Josh McCray. When it was time to throw the ball all over the place against soft coverage and play some 7-on-7 style ball, Georgia’s own recruits mostly sufficed. But when they needed someone to do real physical work to win the game down at the goal line, they knew McCray was the only one on the roster who understood what Big Ten football was all about and was therefore capable of delivering the goods. His game winning touchdown showed toughness, grit and lower body strength that they just don’t cultivate domestically in the SEC.
Arch Manning went 11/25 for 114 yards and a pick as Texas held off UTEP. In retrospect, Ohio State’s defense should be embarrassed they let him complete anything.
And finally, Texas A&M was able to knock off Notre Dame thanks to a horrible uncalled hold on their game-winning drive. Sure, you might be able to rig the game to knock off a top 10 team from the Midwest, but they’re not B1G.
HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN
Notre Dame took their #8 ranking and 0-1 record and extended it to 0-2 thanks to a botched snap on an extra point. Go ahead and beg to be let into the Big Ten, Notre Dame, we see your lack of attention to detail.
#15 Tennessee blew a 21-7 lead against Georgia in a profane shootout reminiscent of the old Air Raid Big 12, but lost because they couldn’t stop a good old-fashioned Big Ten back (former Fighting Illini Josh McCray) from getting two yards when it mattered most. Perhaps the SEC will be decided by who can import the most strength of character from their northerly neighbors. Remember, Tennessee’s resume is currently highlighted by Almost Beating Georgia and outlasting a Syracuse team that needed overtime to beat UConn.
#11 South Carolina was humiliated at home 31-7 by Vanderbilt, who appears to have watched the tape of Illinois exposing LaNorris Sellers for the fraud he is. Shane Beamer lost his temper yet again in embarrassing fashion and ought to be ashamed of himself for making it close against Virginia Tech in light of how their season has turned out.
Speaking of ranked teams picking up a second loss, #12 Clemson lost to Georgia Tech to drop to 1-2. It’s starting to look like Clemson is maybe not that special if the money is changing hands out in the open as opposed to being funneled through a baptist church.
South Florida dropped out of the rankings after being spanked by Miami, whose other two wins were against Bethune-Cookman and winless Notre Dame. That means that the only non-power-conference schools left in the AP poll are Iowa State, Utah and Texas Tech…and half of Notre Dame.
FOOTNOTES OF LITTLE CONSEQUENCE
The ACC suffered some ignominious defeats. Virginia Tech trailed Old Dominion 31-0 at halftime and Duke never led Tulane. Boston College lost to Stanford! SMU trailed Missouri State 10-0 after one quarter.
California was the beneficiary of the West Coast Road Trip Effect, pressing the unfair advantage of making visiting teams from the part of the country where good honest Americans live kick off at very late times for their body clocks. Cal trailed until near the end of the third quarter, when the effect became profound. This game is clearly a 4-point Minnesota win if played at a true neutral site.
Iowa State had an ugly win against Arkansas State, looking remarkably unlike the standard-bearer for a competitive conference.
Once-proud Alabama has been reduced to feasting on the dregs of the Big Ten, kicking a coach who’s clearly out of his element while he’s down. Things are clearly unraveling for Luke Fickell and while it’s unsportsmanlike for Alabama to rub his nose in it, it’s certainly not out of character. Despicable.
Big Ten newcomer UCLA took the first step towards a turnaround for the ages by cutting ties with head coach DeShaun Foster. Nobody else in the country is taking this level of initiative outside of Blacksburg, VA, and the boldness shown by UCLA is consistent with the academic leadership the Big Ten has always exemplified.
WEEK 4 AGENDA WATCH
It’s finally time for conference play to start, but before that happens Washington and Oregon will revisit their former rivals Washington State and Oregon State to demonstrate the awesome power of joining the Big Ten. Purdue will travel to Notre Dame looking to keep the Irish winless.
The ranked-vs-ranked showdown of Indiana vs. Illinois will demonstrate our superior brand of football to the rest of the world. Iowa at Rutgers is thankfully buried on a Friday night.
Tulane is still unranked despite a win over a mighty Big Ten foe. They will head to Ole Miss to slap the visor off of Lane Kiffin.
#4 Miami will continue feasting on cupcakes as they host lowly Florida. That’s a bad look for what is supposed to be one of the only serious teams in the ACC.