—Amanda, 34

“I found out that my boyfriend was only showering if he stayed at my place because his friend would only let him in his place to shower once a week. I should’ve considered this a red flag, but I didn’t and stayed with him for months after that. I didn’t leave him until I woke up once in the middle of the night, in the dead heat of summer, to a rat eating my Pop Tart. When I tried to wake him up and tell him, he told me I was imagining things. I grabbed my stuff, put the Pop Tart next to his bed so he’d see the rat bites, and left.”

—Abby, 26

—Tammy, 43

—Anonymous

—Anonymous

—Jamie, 34

—AA, 30

“Honestly, the conversation was innocent enough, and the boats looked cool. But he had a VHS camera on a tripod at the foot of the bed, and the bedroom walls and ceiling were covered in mirrors. The bed had a shiny satin bedspread. He was legit nerding over the boat features and wanted to show it off. He made no moves on me at all. He was a total gentleman and acted like the decor and camera were no big deal. I finished my drink and thanked him for a lovely evening. Without looking like I was panicking, I got out of there and never returned his calls!”

—Amy, 48

—Jane, 29