Our church, in partnership with a regional food bank, hosts a monthly mobile food pantry. Essentially, people park their cars, some in good weather walk or ride bikes, and our volunteers distribute various food products. Each month, we serve several hundred families.

The guests we serve come from a variety of backgrounds. Many of the guests are experiencing an ongoing crisis of hunger and health. Some have little to no resources. Others are fearful that their limited resources will run out.

I believe that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity, so I utilize small talk to try to find a common connection. Talking about the weather and other seemingly insignificant topics often opens doors for richer relationships.

One guest I’ve gotten to know over the past year or so is a very unpleasant woman. She is short and sharp with her responses. You can hear in her words and tone anger, resentment and hurt. The banter of “How are you today?” elicits some complaint. I have no doubt she has had a difficult life.

The past few months, she came to the pantry toward the end of the scheduled serving time. By the time she arrived, we had distributed most of the product. And I received an earful about it. But this month, she was early.

My opening line, without thinking, was “Good morning. You’re early today.” What she said next surprised and gripped my attention. “You noticed me!” Instantly, her demeanor changed, and for the first time, I saw a smile.

Here is a woman who I can only assume has spent significant portions of her life feeling unnoticed and unimportant. She was now relishing in one person’s acknowledgement. Even if it was in the form of unconscious casual banter. As you can imagine, I’ve drawn a couple of observations and questions from this conversation.

First, life is about people. Paul in Romans 16 identifies nearly 30 people and groups. In 2 Timothy, he mentions more than 18 names. In Philippians 4, Paul identifies two women by name and encourages those in the church to help them get along. People and our relationships matter. Are we acting like they do?

Second, how many people will you pass today who desperately want to be noticed? What if we looked up from our task list and actually paid attention to the people we meet?

Lastly, but certainly not exhaustively, don’t discount idle chit-chat. Your friendly banter could open the door for a conversation of eternal significance. Idle chit-chat may not bring conflicting governments and warring factions together, but it will help you connect with people. People who desperately want to be noticed.

Robert Hurtgen is a husband, father, minister and writer. Read more of him at robhurtgen.wordpress.com.