Seeing families in the pews often put me in tears, often causing my husband and me to leave services….embarrassing. As I was a full-time RN and going back to school, visits were about twice a month and holidays. There was so much guilt that I could not handle more.

As I get older and have more health issues, the visits are less. Instead I have an angel garden and special mementos throughout the house. I couldn’t try for another pregnancy…I couldn’t bury another child. I find peace at the cemetery. We’ve had breakfast, coffee and dinner with the kids. Early on I would take a blanket and spend hours. I will always be tethered … they are my babies.

– Gwen

Visiting the parents

I go to the cemetery every week. I’m an only child who has lost both parents, and the feeling of being alone is overwhelming.

I’ve tried many different approaches to finding peace, like healing with horses and a medium. I go to the cemetery because it’s a thing that I know. They are there. I tell them about my week, what’s new and who has passed. On birthdays, I buy a card and include a message … I do it for the feeling of the normal that I had when they were here, and I wasn’t alone. It’s therapy!

– Joni

Reassured by our priest, my father opted into cremation instead of a burial while he was in hospice. I go to my neighborhood’s cemetery, Monroe Street Cemetery. I walk with my best friend and read the markings chosen to symbolize others’ loved ones.

Some walks, I’ll wish he would’ve also chosen a burial to have a physical representation of him. But most walks, I’m reassured that it was one of the last decisions he made. The cemetery serves as a reminder of my own father’s life, even without a marking there.

– Rachel

A very special place

After 35 years of marriage, my wife succumbed to cancer. It was five years ago. She was in and out of remission for 20 years. I embraced grief counseling, understand the grieving process, and manage it very well. But it’s still just too emotionally painful to visit the grave site.

Soon after her death I started to construct a memorial garden in her honor in a special focal point in our yard. Every year, I continue to add and make improvements to this passion. It has become a true labor of love.

This garden evokes peace, comfort and healing every day I’m immersed in it or viewing it from inside the house. It mitigates the guilt I feel for not visiting the cemetery.

– Phillip

Family history

Between two cemeteries, Highland View and Memorial Gardens, my family has always made it a point to visit the gravesites of those that have left us. We have so many relatives between these two cemeteries that were a part of the Second Great Migration from the South to Cleveland – thus paving the way for so many of my younger relatives.

The sacrifices that they endured, the discrimination, the racism, and the “sweat” equity that they toiled, paved the way for so many of us that are educators, entrepreneurs, administrators, business leaders and so much more. This is why we honor our ancestors so that their legacy for the family continues.

– Dr. Terry Echols

Military memories

My father served in the Navy during World War II and was buried in Arlington National Cemetery with full military honors. Quite a ceremony. We cherish all those who served and protected our freedom and our way of life. Visit Arlington, walk around section 60, and view all the personal tributes to our fallen heroes. Don’t be afraid, they may be gone, but not forgotten.

– Jeff

I don’t visit as much as I used to, but one year I was there around Memorial Day. As I approached the gravesite, I noticed two young men dressed in full Marine uniforms placing a flag on my grandfather’s grave. I asked them if they did this every Memorial Day. Their reply was “Ma’am, the Marine Corps never forgets its own.”

I started to cry, which confused the poor young men. I explained that it meant a lot to know he would be remembered long after I was gone.

– Wendy

A place to apologize

I would give a year of my life to spend one hour with my parents and my parents-in-laws to tell them how grateful I am for the help they provided – and for being themselves. Since I can’t, I do this: I go to their gravesites and apologize for all the stupid things I said.

– Don

Death & life

I visit cemeteries often and happily. There is far more life in a cemetery than death.

When I look at a grave and read the epitaph, I always think that this person, whether I even know them or not, lived and breathed and looked up at the same moon I do … had family, friends, a job. Laughed and cried and shopped for groceries.

They come to life again because I am there.

Death is inevitable, but bringing them to life again, even if just for a moment, is a blessing I look forward to every time I visit a cemetery.

– Laura